[That's what you have me for. And Barry can't help but smile at that, leaning up to kiss him, softly.] Yeah. I'm glad I always have you. [Hal is going to say he's being sappy, and he gets it, but... After all that, after Hal had to see him lost in this fantasy of his dead wife being alive and well again, he wants to remind his best friend that he's happy with him in the here and now.]
He did deserve it. He crossed a lot of lines. [Like being in Hal's head too.
You always will. Sappy. [Just this once, he'll let Barry have his sap. If only because he's not feeling the greatest himself and maybe the sap is kind of nice. He'll never admit that. He will happily return the kiss, though]
Yeah. Yeah, he did. [He goes quiet after that, grip on Barry tightening just a fraction] That annoys me too, actually. That there's even a line to be crossed. [For him, specifically, he means. Barry not being happy about having his dead wife thrown in his face is very reasonable. Being upset that someone was poking around in his head and trying to control him, somehow, is not reasonable. To Hal and only to Hal, probably]
[Barry just hums in agreement, because yeah, he's going to be sappy. He loves his best friend, and he's grateful for his presence. Even right now he's a comfortable, solid warmth that Barry can lean against, and that kiss helps him relax.]
Of course there's a line to be crossed. No one is going to be just okay with someone rifling through their memories and trying to build some weird utopia for them to stay trapped in. [It makes sense that it bothers Hal. It would be weird if it didn't, he thinks.]
It...wasn't even really the utopia that bothered me. [That was annoying, sure. The whole attempt at copying Carol was annoying but it didn't outright bother him. It was more just...the general idea of someone being in his head, digging through his memories, trying to find a way to get him to do what they wanted him to do that bothered him. He doesn't know how to voice that, though]
[Ah. Barry thinks he gets it now. It's more that someone was in his head that bothers Hal, he thinks, and he's sympathetic - it bothers him too. It was no fun to have someone using his memories against him. But he can see where it might really get under Hal's skin.]
It's messed up, to know someone was in your mind digging around. It's personal. Of course it bothers you.
[Hal lets out a long breath, glad that Barry seems to get it. He can't even begin to explain it in words]
Yeah. I guess. [He's so annoyed and almost...anxious. As close as he ever gets to being anxious, at least. He leans closer to press a kiss to Barry's temple] You should at least change out of your costume. Get comfortable.
[Barry tilts his head, pulls Hal down for a real kiss instead, soft and brief but trying to convey comfort as much as he can. It's easy for him to tell that his friend feels off, and he isn't sure how he can fix that, but- he probably can't. Only time and distance from today's situation can fix that. All he can do is be here for Hal the way Hal is here for him.]
Yeah, okay. [The nice part of being a speedster is that it takes him seconds to go upstairs and change out of his costume, and into a soft, old t-shirt, lounge pants, and socks. Hal doesn't even have time to miss him before he's back on the couch with him, leaning into his side.]
[It's true that nothing can really fix the way Hal is feeling right now besides just time. Time and not having to think about it for at least a little while. He’s been in regular clothes since they got home, his own costume able to be willed away. He has it easier than most people in that regard. When Barry comes back he does one better and pulls him into his lap, holding him close and burying his face in the crook of his best friend's neck. He wants to be close right now and he doesn't think Barry will hold that against him]
[Barry goes along with it easily, lets Hal pull him into his lap, and fits comfortably against him. It's nothing to bring his hands up and stroke his fingers through Hal's hair, letting him basically hide his face against his neck. His breath is warm against the skin bared by the loose neck of his shirt.]
Yeah, this is okay. [He kisses the side of his head, exhaling softly, content to sit like this until his delivery food gets here.]
[This kind of vulnerability is something that Hal would never let anyone else see. With Barry, though, it's fine. He feels a little clingy doing this but...it's fine. Given what they just went through, wanting to be close probably isn't that strange]
The least surprising thing about today is the fact that you ordered food the minute we got in the house. What did you order? [He's not hungry himself, he just...wants to talk about something else]
Even without an appetite, I still need the calories. [Barry says with a quiet laugh, like it's any other night, not wanting to draw attention to Hal's show of vulnerability. He actually does appreciate it, that his friend is willing to be even this open with him here in the privacy of their home.]
I ordered Chinese. Got your favorite, if you want to share any. [He doesn't expect Hal to be that hungry, but it would be good if ate at least a few bites of something.]
[Hal's not great at vulnerable. But he figures if there's anyone it's safe to be that around, it's Barry. He shakes his head at the offer of food, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Barry's neck]
Really not hungry. You can have it all. But thanks.
You sure? It's not great for you to skip a meal after exerting so much energy. [Not that it was a huge fight, but who knows how long they were struggling in that illusion, after all. But he won't push any more than that, just kisses the side of Hal's head in turn, and then tilts his head to kiss him properly.]
[Hal scoffs at the comment about exerting energy. He's still very annoyed that he didn't even get to beat the guy senseless. At least then he would've been able to do something about the situation]
Oh yeah, I exerted so much energy. I'm fine, Barry. [He's not but...it's better now that they're home. He's more than happy to return that kiss, tugging Barry closer]
Okay, okay. [He's not going to argue any further. Hal's a big boy and he can eat when he's hungry, it's not like the fridge is ever empty.
And he definitely doesn't believe that Hal is fine, but he's not going to argue that either. Far more productive to lean in closer and kiss him nice and slow and easy, bringing a hand up to cup the side of his jaw and thumb across his cheek.]
[He'll eat later, probably. He'll also probably be more open to actually talk later, too. About himself. Because he's perfectly willing to talk about anything Barry wants or needs to talk about, he just can't process his own feelings well enough right now to talk about them. Right now, he just needs to be close to Barry. That'll help]
Love you. [The kissing is a nice distraction from everything else that happened today, honestly. He needs that]
[Luckily they have all night, because Barry knows it'll take a while yet for Hal to be willing to open up about what happened today, how he's feeling about it. But Barry, even though he's the fastest man alive, can be patient when he needs to be.]
Love you too. [He murmurs against his mouth, in between sweet kisses, slow and almost lazy in the way he shows his affection. His fingers smooth a few strands of hair away from his face, leaning his forehead against Hal's when they have to part.]
You know me, I'll be back in a flash. [He teases, giving Hal a cheeky smile as he presses a kiss to the line of his jaw.
Neither of them are okay, not really, but- Barry always finds it easy to try and cheer Hal up like this, to just enjoy quiet moments together with his best friend. Another handful of minutes pass, full of lazy kisses and just holding each other, before the doorbell rings, and he has to press an apologetic kiss to the side of Hal's head.
Even though he doesn't run, it doesn't take long to receive the bag of food - not nearly as much as he might normally order, it's probably normal portions for 3 regular people. He pulls out a container of orange chicken and chopsticks, and resumes his place on the couch, sitting catty-corner to Hal with his legs draped over his friend's lap.] Sure you don't want any?
[Hal rolls his eyes at the pun but he lets Barry have it without a comment beyond that.
He is just slightly inconvenienced when Barry has to get up. While his lap is vacant he reaches over for the remote to turn the TV on. He doesn't actually care what's on, which is why he just sort of leaves it on whatever channel it's on and turns the volume way down. The background noise is all he wants. It's too quiet in the house. He’s content enough when Barry settles back down, huffing a little at the offer of food]
If I eat some, will you stop asking? [He knows Barry's just worried about him. It's fine]
Yes. [Barry answers with a chuckle, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and holding it out to Hal. Can he feed himself? Yes. But Barry is still trying to take his mind off things, to give him whatever distraction he needs, so maybe he's being a little extra ridiculous with his partner.
If it weren't for what they just went through, it would be a nice evening. Just the two of them, in the quiet house, with the TV on softly in the background. He'd normally really enjoy this. Even now, he does, but... there is a slight tension that will remain until they've both gotten this off feeling out of their systems.]
You could. [Barry agrees with a smile, taking a bite of chicken himself, and then holding out another piece to Hal. If he really doesn't like it, he can get up and get chopsticks for himself, he figures.]
This is fine. I'm not really watching it anyway. [He's not sure what's on, but he doesn't really care either. His attention is mostly on Hal, and a little bit on the food, because despite his mood, his body needs the fuel.]
[It's silly but he still goes along with it, leaning forward to take the chicken when it's offered to him]
On the bright side, now we know that there's no amount of mind control that would ever make me actually forget you. [A gentle, careful attempt at talking about it. It's true enough. He doesn't think there's anything that could ever make him totally forget Barry. His best friend occupies a permanent place in his mind always]
[Barry takes turns feeding himself and feeding Hal, just trying to relax, get comfortable and put everything out of his mind. But of course, Hal always seems to know when he needs to get something out.
Barry winces slightly at the comment.] ...I'm sorry. [Because he hadn't remembered Hal, at first, the control had set so deep into his mind, casting him back to a life that- that maybe never actually existed, if he thinks about it. He and Iris hadn't been married when he first got his speed.]
You know that I love you, right? That I wouldn't- I don't want to change anything. I don't want to go back. [He regrets his wife's death, but everything that happened, happened, and there's no changing it.]
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He did deserve it. He crossed a lot of lines. [Like being in Hal's head too.
But he's still glad it ended pretty bloodlessly.]
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Yeah. Yeah, he did. [He goes quiet after that, grip on Barry tightening just a fraction] That annoys me too, actually. That there's even a line to be crossed. [For him, specifically, he means. Barry not being happy about having his dead wife thrown in his face is very reasonable. Being upset that someone was poking around in his head and trying to control him, somehow, is not reasonable. To Hal and only to Hal, probably]
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Of course there's a line to be crossed. No one is going to be just okay with someone rifling through their memories and trying to build some weird utopia for them to stay trapped in. [It makes sense that it bothers Hal. It would be weird if it didn't, he thinks.]
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It's messed up, to know someone was in your mind digging around. It's personal. Of course it bothers you.
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Yeah. I guess. [He's so annoyed and almost...anxious. As close as he ever gets to being anxious, at least. He leans closer to press a kiss to Barry's temple] You should at least change out of your costume. Get comfortable.
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Yeah, okay. [The nice part of being a speedster is that it takes him seconds to go upstairs and change out of his costume, and into a soft, old t-shirt, lounge pants, and socks. Hal doesn't even have time to miss him before he's back on the couch with him, leaning into his side.]
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This okay?
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Yeah, this is okay. [He kisses the side of his head, exhaling softly, content to sit like this until his delivery food gets here.]
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The least surprising thing about today is the fact that you ordered food the minute we got in the house. What did you order? [He's not hungry himself, he just...wants to talk about something else]
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I ordered Chinese. Got your favorite, if you want to share any. [He doesn't expect Hal to be that hungry, but it would be good if ate at least a few bites of something.]
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Really not hungry. You can have it all. But thanks.
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Oh yeah, I exerted so much energy. I'm fine, Barry. [He's not but...it's better now that they're home. He's more than happy to return that kiss, tugging Barry closer]
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And he definitely doesn't believe that Hal is fine, but he's not going to argue that either. Far more productive to lean in closer and kiss him nice and slow and easy, bringing a hand up to cup the side of his jaw and thumb across his cheek.]
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Love you. [The kissing is a nice distraction from everything else that happened today, honestly. He needs that]
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Love you too. [He murmurs against his mouth, in between sweet kisses, slow and almost lazy in the way he shows his affection. His fingers smooth a few strands of hair away from his face, leaning his forehead against Hal's when they have to part.]
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I'm gonna be so inconvenienced when I have to let you up to get your food. [He’s willing to admit to being clingy, at least]
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Neither of them are okay, not really, but- Barry always finds it easy to try and cheer Hal up like this, to just enjoy quiet moments together with his best friend. Another handful of minutes pass, full of lazy kisses and just holding each other, before the doorbell rings, and he has to press an apologetic kiss to the side of Hal's head.
Even though he doesn't run, it doesn't take long to receive the bag of food - not nearly as much as he might normally order, it's probably normal portions for 3 regular people. He pulls out a container of orange chicken and chopsticks, and resumes his place on the couch, sitting catty-corner to Hal with his legs draped over his friend's lap.] Sure you don't want any?
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He is just slightly inconvenienced when Barry has to get up. While his lap is vacant he reaches over for the remote to turn the TV on. He doesn't actually care what's on, which is why he just sort of leaves it on whatever channel it's on and turns the volume way down. The background noise is all he wants. It's too quiet in the house. He’s content enough when Barry settles back down, huffing a little at the offer of food]
If I eat some, will you stop asking? [He knows Barry's just worried about him. It's fine]
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If it weren't for what they just went through, it would be a nice evening. Just the two of them, in the quiet house, with the TV on softly in the background. He'd normally really enjoy this. Even now, he does, but... there is a slight tension that will remain until they've both gotten this off feeling out of their systems.]
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[He complains but he'll go along with it, leaning forward to take the chicken. He's not gonna eat much anyway. He's basically just humoring Barry]
You can change the channel if you want, by the way. I just wanted background noise.
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This is fine. I'm not really watching it anyway. [He's not sure what's on, but he doesn't really care either. His attention is mostly on Hal, and a little bit on the food, because despite his mood, his body needs the fuel.]
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On the bright side, now we know that there's no amount of mind control that would ever make me actually forget you. [A gentle, careful attempt at talking about it. It's true enough. He doesn't think there's anything that could ever make him totally forget Barry. His best friend occupies a permanent place in his mind always]
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Barry winces slightly at the comment.] ...I'm sorry. [Because he hadn't remembered Hal, at first, the control had set so deep into his mind, casting him back to a life that- that maybe never actually existed, if he thinks about it. He and Iris hadn't been married when he first got his speed.]
You know that I love you, right? That I wouldn't- I don't want to change anything. I don't want to go back. [He regrets his wife's death, but everything that happened, happened, and there's no changing it.]
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