[Hal rolls his eyes at the pun but he lets Barry have it without a comment beyond that.
He is just slightly inconvenienced when Barry has to get up. While his lap is vacant he reaches over for the remote to turn the TV on. He doesn't actually care what's on, which is why he just sort of leaves it on whatever channel it's on and turns the volume way down. The background noise is all he wants. It's too quiet in the house. He’s content enough when Barry settles back down, huffing a little at the offer of food]
If I eat some, will you stop asking? [He knows Barry's just worried about him. It's fine]
Yes. [Barry answers with a chuckle, picking up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks and holding it out to Hal. Can he feed himself? Yes. But Barry is still trying to take his mind off things, to give him whatever distraction he needs, so maybe he's being a little extra ridiculous with his partner.
If it weren't for what they just went through, it would be a nice evening. Just the two of them, in the quiet house, with the TV on softly in the background. He'd normally really enjoy this. Even now, he does, but... there is a slight tension that will remain until they've both gotten this off feeling out of their systems.]
You could. [Barry agrees with a smile, taking a bite of chicken himself, and then holding out another piece to Hal. If he really doesn't like it, he can get up and get chopsticks for himself, he figures.]
This is fine. I'm not really watching it anyway. [He's not sure what's on, but he doesn't really care either. His attention is mostly on Hal, and a little bit on the food, because despite his mood, his body needs the fuel.]
[It's silly but he still goes along with it, leaning forward to take the chicken when it's offered to him]
On the bright side, now we know that there's no amount of mind control that would ever make me actually forget you. [A gentle, careful attempt at talking about it. It's true enough. He doesn't think there's anything that could ever make him totally forget Barry. His best friend occupies a permanent place in his mind always]
[Barry takes turns feeding himself and feeding Hal, just trying to relax, get comfortable and put everything out of his mind. But of course, Hal always seems to know when he needs to get something out.
Barry winces slightly at the comment.] ...I'm sorry. [Because he hadn't remembered Hal, at first, the control had set so deep into his mind, casting him back to a life that- that maybe never actually existed, if he thinks about it. He and Iris hadn't been married when he first got his speed.]
You know that I love you, right? That I wouldn't- I don't want to change anything. I don't want to go back. [He regrets his wife's death, but everything that happened, happened, and there's no changing it.]
[When he said that, he wasn't looking for any reassurance or an apology or anything. Neither of them are at fault for what happened, as far as Hal is concerned]
You love me, huh? That's news to me. You hide it so well. [They're both equally bad at hiding the way they feel about each other. Hal's been told on multiple occasions, usually by Guy, that they're obnoxiously in love with each other. He leans into Barry's space to kiss him, both to reassure him and because he just really wants to kiss him]
You don't have to be sorry. I get how it probably seemed normal to you. I'm not insecure enough to take you not remembering me personally. Besides, I got you to remember me pretty fast.
Stop. [Barry says with a little laugh, despite himself, because Hal always makes things seem better somehow. He leans in to meet him, kissing him back slow, lingering in it, because it's a good reminder right now that they're in the real world, not some stupid fantasy meant to keep them complacent.
When they part, he's smiling, warm and soft. Hal has a point - even if he didn't remember him at first, that was fixed pretty fast.]
Yeah, you did. How could I ever forget the way you kiss me?
[Hal's never been great at commitment. But for Barry? He's managed. There's no takebacks on that. Barry is stuck with him forever]
I'd hope you never would. But I'm happy to remind you either way. [He leans in for another kiss, because kissing Barry is so much nicer than thinking about anything else that happened today]
[Barry loves that commitment, honestly. Hal was never the best at it with others, but their relationship has always been different, special. He only feels that again now as they sit together on the couch, unwinding after a stressful day.]
And I'm reminding you that I'm here to listen if you feel like talking about anything. [Barry adds with a small smile, tilting in to meet him after, kissing him back like he could do it for hours. He still won't push, but a reminder doesn't hurt, and until he's ready... They can just make out like this, as long as he wants.]
I know, Bar. You're always here for me. I'd never forget that.
[When he's ready to talk about anything, of course it'll be with Barry. For now he just...wants to be with Barry and not think about it. So instead of talking, he just leans in for another kiss]
Good. [As long as Hal knows that. He'll talk eventually, he's sure, but it's alright if it takes some time. Barry takes just as much comfort in this closeness, settled together on the couch, lazily making out as the sky grows darker outside.
Eventually, mouthing a kiss to his jaw, Barry asks quietly,] Do you want to go to bed?
[He's never once doubted that Barry cares for him and will always be there for him if he needs someone (which he does, even if he'll never admit that). He'd have to be stupid to doubt that. It's relatively early still, Hal isn't really tired and definitely will not sleep but...he can't deny that going to bed sounds appealing]
[They don't even have to sleep - they can keep making out if Hal wants. But he's a little bit ready to put things away and retreat to an even more private space together.] Okay.
[He gives him another kiss, and then goes to put the rest of the Chinese food up in the fridge, then returns to the couch, reaching down to take Hal's hands and pull him gently toward the stairs.]
[Hal, quite frankly, doesn't really know what he wants right now. He's feeling the tiniest bit clingy and wants to be as close as he possibly can. He won't say either of those things out loud but it's probably fairly obvious from how he's been acting. The idea of shutting themselves in their bedroom is incredibly appealing to him, with that in mind.
So when Barry comes back from putting the food away and takes his hands, Hal goes without any complaints. The minute they're in the bedroom he attaches again, burying his face in the crook of Barry's neck. He's not a very affectionate person in general but...Barry is an exception. And right now, he needs it]
[He doesn't have to say them out loud. Barry gets it. Maybe it's just a sixth sense for Hal's moods, but Barry isn't gone long, and then they can make their way upstairs. Hal is clinging to him the moment the door closes, leaving them limned in gentle darkness, the moon aglow outside their window giving just enough light to see by.
Barry wraps his arms around him again, willing to be patient. He kisses his hair, and after a few minutes, suggests,]
Do you want to change into something more comfortable and we can cuddle in bed?
[Barry's patience is deeply appreciated. Hal has never been great at...anything to do with emotions, honestly. When Barry asks if he wants to change and get in bed, Hal just makes a sound to let him know that he heard him, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck]
[Barry nods once, bringing his hand up to thread gently through the hair at the back of Hal's neck, hopefully a soothing gesture. He lets him go so he can change into sleep clothes, and then joins him on the bed.
He gets comfortable, and draws his best friend in to spoon him, pressing a kiss to the curve of his shoulder.]
[It is soothing. But only because it's Barry. Anyone else and he'd be recoiling at the very thought of being touched right now. He pulls away from Barry reluctantly to change and then makes himself comfortable on the bed. When Barry joins him he's more than happy to press close again]
Love you, too. How're you feeling now? Any better?
I'll be okay. [He answers, not dishonestly. It still bothers him, what they went through today, but he knows it will pass. Barry can at least relax like this, alone at home with Hal, warm and solid against him.]
[Hal shrugs in response to Barry's question, pressing closer to him] Fine. [He’s still not doing great, truthfully, but...he'll get over it. Today was far from the worst thing that's ever happened to him]
You're here, so I'll be okay. [He’s willing to give Barry some sap after the day they had, okay]
[That small statement makes him smile against his shoulder, giving Hal a gentle squeeze. He feels the same - as long as Hal is here, he'll be okay eventually. But he's still avoiding the subject of today, and so he tries one more time, voice quiet,]
[It's not so much that Hal doesn't want to talk about it, it's more that he doesn't know how. He's so bad at talking about how own feelings. He's bad at processing his own feelings. He has almost no emotional coping mechanisms that aren't self-destructive]
I hate the idea of someone being in my head. And I know that's normal. Who would like it? But it's more... [He literally cannot think of how to describe how he's feeling right now] I hate thinking about someone being able to just...make me think whatever they want me to think and using that to make me do what they want. And I know I'm probably overreacting but I just feel wrong now. I wanna crawl out of my own skin.
[Barry hums sympathetically, listening as Hal talks. It's nothing too surprising. Of course the idea of someone being inside your head, trying to manipulate you into complacency would be violating. Hal doesn't need to have that repeated to him, he's sure he knows that it's not an unusual way to feel after what they went through.
Barry's hands find Hal's, twining their fingers together and giving them a soft squeeze.] You're not overreacting. [He does say, quiet and hopefully reassuring.] Maybe being a little hard on yourself, but not overreacting.
[He's never needed anyone to tell him that he's fucking up because, chances are, he's already telling himself that. And having a very understandable reaction to a fucked up situation? Overreacting. But only because it's him. If it was anyone else in the world experiencing what he's experiencing right now, he'd be incredibly sympathetic]
It just...feels stupid. I don't really know what to do with myself right now and that pisses me off.
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He is just slightly inconvenienced when Barry has to get up. While his lap is vacant he reaches over for the remote to turn the TV on. He doesn't actually care what's on, which is why he just sort of leaves it on whatever channel it's on and turns the volume way down. The background noise is all he wants. It's too quiet in the house. He’s content enough when Barry settles back down, huffing a little at the offer of food]
If I eat some, will you stop asking? [He knows Barry's just worried about him. It's fine]
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If it weren't for what they just went through, it would be a nice evening. Just the two of them, in the quiet house, with the TV on softly in the background. He'd normally really enjoy this. Even now, he does, but... there is a slight tension that will remain until they've both gotten this off feeling out of their systems.]
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[He complains but he'll go along with it, leaning forward to take the chicken. He's not gonna eat much anyway. He's basically just humoring Barry]
You can change the channel if you want, by the way. I just wanted background noise.
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This is fine. I'm not really watching it anyway. [He's not sure what's on, but he doesn't really care either. His attention is mostly on Hal, and a little bit on the food, because despite his mood, his body needs the fuel.]
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On the bright side, now we know that there's no amount of mind control that would ever make me actually forget you. [A gentle, careful attempt at talking about it. It's true enough. He doesn't think there's anything that could ever make him totally forget Barry. His best friend occupies a permanent place in his mind always]
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Barry winces slightly at the comment.] ...I'm sorry. [Because he hadn't remembered Hal, at first, the control had set so deep into his mind, casting him back to a life that- that maybe never actually existed, if he thinks about it. He and Iris hadn't been married when he first got his speed.]
You know that I love you, right? That I wouldn't- I don't want to change anything. I don't want to go back. [He regrets his wife's death, but everything that happened, happened, and there's no changing it.]
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You love me, huh? That's news to me. You hide it so well. [They're both equally bad at hiding the way they feel about each other. Hal's been told on multiple occasions, usually by Guy, that they're obnoxiously in love with each other. He leans into Barry's space to kiss him, both to reassure him and because he just really wants to kiss him]
You don't have to be sorry. I get how it probably seemed normal to you. I'm not insecure enough to take you not remembering me personally. Besides, I got you to remember me pretty fast.
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When they part, he's smiling, warm and soft. Hal has a point - even if he didn't remember him at first, that was fixed pretty fast.]
Yeah, you did. How could I ever forget the way you kiss me?
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[Hal's never been great at commitment. But for Barry? He's managed. There's no takebacks on that. Barry is stuck with him forever]
I'd hope you never would. But I'm happy to remind you either way. [He leans in for another kiss, because kissing Barry is so much nicer than thinking about anything else that happened today]
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And I'm reminding you that I'm here to listen if you feel like talking about anything. [Barry adds with a small smile, tilting in to meet him after, kissing him back like he could do it for hours. He still won't push, but a reminder doesn't hurt, and until he's ready... They can just make out like this, as long as he wants.]
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[When he's ready to talk about anything, of course it'll be with Barry. For now he just...wants to be with Barry and not think about it. So instead of talking, he just leans in for another kiss]
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Eventually, mouthing a kiss to his jaw, Barry asks quietly,] Do you want to go to bed?
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If you want to.
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[He gives him another kiss, and then goes to put the rest of the Chinese food up in the fridge, then returns to the couch, reaching down to take Hal's hands and pull him gently toward the stairs.]
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So when Barry comes back from putting the food away and takes his hands, Hal goes without any complaints. The minute they're in the bedroom he attaches again, burying his face in the crook of Barry's neck. He's not a very affectionate person in general but...Barry is an exception. And right now, he needs it]
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Barry wraps his arms around him again, willing to be patient. He kisses his hair, and after a few minutes, suggests,]
Do you want to change into something more comfortable and we can cuddle in bed?
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Yeah, okay. That'd probably be a better idea.
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He gets comfortable, and draws his best friend in to spoon him, pressing a kiss to the curve of his shoulder.]
I love you.
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Love you, too. How're you feeling now? Any better?
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How about you? How are you feeling?
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You're here, so I'll be okay. [He’s willing to give Barry some sap after the day they had, okay]
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Mm. Still not ready to talk about it?
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I hate the idea of someone being in my head. And I know that's normal. Who would like it? But it's more... [He literally cannot think of how to describe how he's feeling right now] I hate thinking about someone being able to just...make me think whatever they want me to think and using that to make me do what they want. And I know I'm probably overreacting but I just feel wrong now. I wanna crawl out of my own skin.
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Barry's hands find Hal's, twining their fingers together and giving them a soft squeeze.] You're not overreacting. [He does say, quiet and hopefully reassuring.] Maybe being a little hard on yourself, but not overreacting.
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[He's never needed anyone to tell him that he's fucking up because, chances are, he's already telling himself that. And having a very understandable reaction to a fucked up situation? Overreacting. But only because it's him. If it was anyone else in the world experiencing what he's experiencing right now, he'd be incredibly sympathetic]
It just...feels stupid. I don't really know what to do with myself right now and that pisses me off.
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