[Hal moves when he's nudged, letting Barry rearrange them. He won't ever admit how much he actually needs the closeness right now. Barry probably already knows. Instead, he just huffs a little]
You're asking for a lot here, you know that? [No one will ever be able to hate Hal as much as he hates himself. Sorry, Bruce] I'll try. No promises, though.
That's all I'm asking for. Just try. [Barry doesn't expect miracles here, he just hopes that maybe, if Hal has a reason to stop beating himself up inside, he might eventually taper that off somewhat.
And then, he says it again, because it can't hurt for Hal to hear it - that he loves him, that Hal is the one who saved them both today.] I love you. Thank you for dragging me out of that mess today.
I will. [It's gonna take a lot of work for him to get out of that particular habit. Since coming back from the dead, he's really gotten used to being down on himself]
Love you too. You know I'm always gonna be there for you. Even if it's something ridiculous like today.
I know. You have no idea how much that's always meant to me. [Barry says soft and fond, with a little smile, before he tilts in to kiss Hal, brief and chaste.
After a moment, he pulls away, just a hair, and exhales a quiet breath.] Ready to sleep? Maybe we'll both feel better in the morning.
[He doesn't want to fall asleep and leave Hal alone with his thoughts, but he's not sure what else there is to do tonight. Neither of them are making much progress on ceasing to feel unsettled, honestly.]
I...sure. I'll try. [He's not gonna be able to sleep, not the way he's feeling. But he also doesn't know how to get rid of this feeling right now so...he doesn't really know what else to do]
Don't worry about it too much, though. If you're tired, you should sleep.
It might make me feel better. [He points out, with a wry smile.] I don't want to leave you alone with your thoughts if I can help it.
[Not that he'll have much choice eventually. He's going to need sleep. But... he hates the thought of just leaving Hal to it, without doing everything he possibly can to help him.]
[Hal can only huff a little, in amusement rather than annoyance, when Barry says that. Barry has always been the only one who doesn't just take his word for it when he says he'll be fine. Probably because Barry knows him better than anyone else. He presses closer to Barry, kissing the side of his head]
You can never just let me off easy, can you? [He wouldn't change a thing] I'm just having trouble shutting down. So I don't think it's gonna happen. But I'll try, if it makes you feel better.
[He knows Hal, just like Hal knows him inside and out. He accepts that kiss with a quiet breath, and tilts his head so he can kiss him properly, short and sweet.]
Nope. [He will never let Hal off easy. As much as Hal hates himself, Barry loves him.] I get it. I'll leave you alone about it if you want. Just... I'm here if you need me, okay?
I don't want you to leave me alone. [He pretty much never does. Barry is the one person he always wants around him] I know you're here if I need you. I never doubt that. But I also don't...really know what you could even do to help. Just laying here with you helps, I just feel like it's gonna be a while before I actually manage to settle down. That's all.
[Barry smiles a little ruefully, and steals a kiss.] That's just what I do. I can't help it, I love you too much.
[He manages to stay awake a little longer, but honestly, Barry is just worn out after today. He eventually falls asleep, and will stay asleep past his usual wake-up time if he isn't woken up by Hal or something happening first.]
[Hal, predictably, does not sleep. He mostly just lays there with Barry. It's not the most fun he's ever had and he knows he could wake Barry if he really needed the company but...he doesn't want to do that. So he lays there until he can't anymore, which is right around the time Barry would normally be waking up. He carefully gets out of bed, not wanting to wake Barry, and heads downstairs to make coffee]
[It's Hal leaving the bed that wakes him, a short while after he's gone downstairs. The lack of him leaves the bed cold, without a warm, solid body to drape across. Barry rises groggily, and heads downstairs to the smell of coffee brewing.
The first thing he does is come up to Hal's side and hug him tight, leaning his head against his shoulder.]
Not the best. [He admits, but at least he slept somewhat, unlike Hal.] Is that coffee? [He's definitely going to need that to get through the day. Along with breakfast.]
Sure is. [He's already in the process of making Barry a cup. How he likes his coffee is one of the many things about Barry that Hal has memorized after all the years they've known each other]
Sure, if you want. Breakfast might not be a bad idea.
[Barry smiles wryly, but fondly, watching as Hal adds just the right amount of sugar and cream to his coffee. His partner drinks it black, but Barry is not that kind of person. He takes the warm mug and takes a sip, then exhales softly.]
Will you actually eat some of it? [But he needs breakfast regardless, so he sets his coffee down on the table, and starts to move around gathering ingredients for bacon, eggs and toast.]
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You're asking for a lot here, you know that? [No one will ever be able to hate Hal as much as he hates himself. Sorry, Bruce] I'll try. No promises, though.
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And then, he says it again, because it can't hurt for Hal to hear it - that he loves him, that Hal is the one who saved them both today.] I love you. Thank you for dragging me out of that mess today.
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Love you too. You know I'm always gonna be there for you. Even if it's something ridiculous like today.
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After a moment, he pulls away, just a hair, and exhales a quiet breath.] Ready to sleep? Maybe we'll both feel better in the morning.
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[He returns the kiss and then settles his hand on Barry's hip when they part]
Sure. If you're ready. [He isn't gonna sleep, he just knows it. But he's content to just lay here with Barry]
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[He doesn't want to fall asleep and leave Hal alone with his thoughts, but he's not sure what else there is to do tonight. Neither of them are making much progress on ceasing to feel unsettled, honestly.]
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Don't worry about it too much, though. If you're tired, you should sleep.
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I am, but... I'll stay up if you want me to.
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[Because he’s always, ultimately, fine. Even if the way there is never much fun. He’s not gonna break down or anything, is the point]
You staying up just because I can't sleep won't make me feel any better.
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[Not that he'll have much choice eventually. He's going to need sleep. But... he hates the thought of just leaving Hal to it, without doing everything he possibly can to help him.]
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You can never just let me off easy, can you? [He wouldn't change a thing] I'm just having trouble shutting down. So I don't think it's gonna happen. But I'll try, if it makes you feel better.
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Nope. [He will never let Hal off easy. As much as Hal hates himself, Barry loves him.] I get it. I'll leave you alone about it if you want. Just... I'm here if you need me, okay?
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That's okay. I might fall asleep, though. [His smile is small and apologetic.] If I do, you can wake me up if you need me for anything.
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You can sleep. I'll be okay. You worry too much.
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[He manages to stay awake a little longer, but honestly, Barry is just worn out after today. He eventually falls asleep, and will stay asleep past his usual wake-up time if he isn't woken up by Hal or something happening first.]
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The first thing he does is come up to Hal's side and hug him tight, leaning his head against his shoulder.]
Morning. You didn't sleep, huh?
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Nah. Tried but it didn't work. You sleep okay?
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Do you want me to make some breakfast?
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Sure, if you want. Breakfast might not be a bad idea.
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Will you actually eat some of it? [But he needs breakfast regardless, so he sets his coffee down on the table, and starts to move around gathering ingredients for bacon, eggs and toast.]
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[He promises nothing. He feels better but he's still not really hungry. He is, however, perfectly content to watch Barry move around the kitchen]