It'll be as stress-free as possible for you, I promise. [Which won't be 100% stress free, but it's the least Barry can offer, since he's going along with this whole wedding thing. Since he's marrying Barry period.]
Ha. I'd be delighted if we weren't inviting Guy, but I know you, and so we're inviting Guy. [Guy is Hal's family, somehow, no matter how Barry feels about him. He's just making fun of him right now though, he isn't upset about him coming.] It's fine. It's just going to be a casual ceremony and a BBQ for the reception.
Unless you want something fancy, but somehow, I don't think you do.
Don't say it like that. That makes it sound like...I don't know. [The phrasing just bothers him. No, he doesn't know why]
Was that permission to not invite Guy? Because I might take you up on that. [He won't and they both know it. Hal might find Guy incredibly annoying but...he's kind of attached to the guy. They're brothers. Brothers who sometimes have full on street fights over nothing but still brothers]
Why would I wanna do fancy? The wedding's not the point, right? Being married is.
Okay, okay, I just meant I'd take care of anything you really didn't want to. [Just like he's sure Hal will take care of some things so Barry doesn't have to.]
Hey, you don't need my permission to invite Guy. You're going to do it regardless. [No matter how much he jokes that he won't.]
Right. Being married is the point. [And here Barry can't help but soften, smiling at Hal and looping his arms loosely around his neck to pull him in for a kiss, slow and easy. Look, he's happy to be getting married, alright.]
Fine. Okay. I can accept that. [They're in this together. Also he is, 100%, going to invite Guy. They both know it]
See? Though I guess the wedding is a little bit the point. For you, apparently. I don't really care what kind of wedding we have. [He settles both his hands on Barry's hips, leaning into the kiss] Because no matter what, I get to have you. And that's all I really want anyway.
[Barry just laughs when Hal says the wedding is a little bit the point for him.] I wasn't going to push for one. It isn't that important, but it'll be nice to have the family together.
[And then Hal says that, and Barry's grin stretches from ear to ear, as he brings his hands up to cup Hal's face with a sort of tender affection.] Now who's sappy? I feel the same, though. I'm excited to be married to you. And maybe to pick out a flower girl dress for our daughter.
You weren't even going to admit you wanted one. Not until Alan and Jay basically guilted it out of you. [Which is fine. Hal's not a big wedding person and having one himself was never something he considered but...he'll do it for Barry]
Mm, shut up. [He leans in for another quick kiss] That's probably gonna be her favorite part, too. Until there's cake. Then that will be her favorite part.
Because I didn't want to pressure you! [Their guilting definitely helped, though. Alan and Jay are right about some things and maybe a little dramatic about others. But he really would like to have a small-ish, somewhat casual wedding.
Barry laughs as he returns that kiss.] Yeah, she'll have a blast. I think it'll be worth it for that, at least. And for some nice photos of us and our family.
And yet here we are. [He doesn't feel pressured. And maybe Alan and Jay were the tiniest bit dramatic about certain things but...they had good intentions. Their concerns are very fatherly. It's nice that they care as much as they do]
As much as I still think it's gonna be a pain in the ass...yeah. She's gonna have a good time. That'll be nice. [Again, he'd do absolutely anything for Dawn] So, what do we think the chances are that Jay hasn't already called Wally and told him?
And yet here we are, going to get married and have a wedding and everything. [Barry laughs, and steals another brief kiss, because he can.] Jack is never going to believe this.
[He thinks everyone else will, at least. Wally will definitely be excited.] Jay wouldn't do that. At least not yet. It's our news to tell. Kind of unfortunately, because I'm not looking forward to making all those phone calls.
How the fuck did that happen? [He knows how it happened. He’s stupidly in love with Barry. That's how]
God, don't remind me that I have to call Jack. He’s gonna talk shit. [He loves his brother, honestly. But the man is a dick] Yeah, me either. But we started this fuckery so now we're finishing it. Might as well get it out of the way.
No cursing, the baby will hear you. [Barry says with a laugh, even though the baby is still quite occupied with her toys in the living room, in her playpen, and not paying attention. It would be just his luck if she started paying attention the moment Hal said "talk shit" or "fuckery", though.]
The baby isn't even paying attention to us. And anyway, she's got Guy Gardner in her life. Which I know is my fault, before you even say anything. So I wouldn't complain about me cursing every now and then with that in mind, if I were you. [How did Guy ever become a family member? Who let that happen? (Hal. It was Hal)]
Do you need to ask? Wally. If he finds out we told anyone else before him, he'll explode. [A brief pause] Even if I think it'd be kinda funny to tell Kyle first. That'd really set him off.
[Barry's eyebrows slowly raise during that speech, because yes, he was absolutely going to say "And who's fault is that?" in response to the fact that their child has Guy Gardner in her life.] I'll complain about your cursing as much as I want, thanks. [He's teasing more than anything. While Barry doesn't exactly want their daughter to start dropping f-bombs, he's also not angry.]
Oh, please don't start another miniature war between Wally and Kyle. You remember how awkward things got at the last barbecue, don't you? [Barry huffs a laugh, but picks up his phone to dial Wally, putting it on speaker.]
[He wouldn't have Barry any other way than exactly how he is, honestly. The mention of the last barbecue makes him laugh, hiding his face against Barry's shoulder. They do big family stuff all the time these days. Sometimes Wally and Kyle can get along just fine, sometimes they get into thoroughly stupid fights over nothing that lead to poor Connor having to try to keep the peace] Everyone remembers the last barbecue, Bar. Everyone.
Hey, kid. You want the good news or the bad news first? [There is no bad news. He just has to fuck with Wally a little bit]
Yes, unfortunately. So let's avoid that at our wedding.
[Even as he nags, he's trying to hold in a laugh, which doesn't change as they call Wally. Though he does roll his eyes at Hal when he asks if Wally wants the good news or bad news.]
Uh... Bad news, first? Is everything okay? Why are you both calling at the same time, anyway?
[Wally bursts out laughing when Hal says they're getting married, and honestly, no one can blame him.] You guys? Really? C'mon, Uncle Hal, if you're trying to mess with me, you can come up with better than 'we're getting married'.
[They kind of deserve this after all their insistence that they weren't going to get married.]
No, really. Turns out, it's really hard to get your child adopted by your partner if you aren't legally married. So, we're getting married.
[Wally not believing that they're getting married is not surprising. They were always pretty insistent that they weren't going to do that. The universe has a sense of humor]
Joke's on you, kid. We're actually getting married. Surprise.
[The universe loves making them do things they say they'd never do. Like have a child, and now get married. Wally's disbelief is entirely unsurprising.]
You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
[Now that makes Wally laugh, because he knows how Jay gets, even if he doesn't know Alan quite as well.] So you got bullied into having a real wedding, got it. Have fun with that, even a small wedding will be a lot of work.
Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
Stop bullying Kyle. That's my job. [Said as if Hal doesn't baby the absolute hell out of Kyle like they all know that he does. He'll deny it until the day he dies but he absolutely treats Kyle like a baby]
And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
Oh, I remember. Good luck trying to keep it small, though.
We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
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Ha. I'd be delighted if we weren't inviting Guy, but I know you, and so we're inviting Guy. [Guy is Hal's family, somehow, no matter how Barry feels about him. He's just making fun of him right now though, he isn't upset about him coming.] It's fine. It's just going to be a casual ceremony and a BBQ for the reception.
Unless you want something fancy, but somehow, I don't think you do.
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Was that permission to not invite Guy? Because I might take you up on that. [He won't and they both know it. Hal might find Guy incredibly annoying but...he's kind of attached to the guy. They're brothers. Brothers who sometimes have full on street fights over nothing but still brothers]
Why would I wanna do fancy? The wedding's not the point, right? Being married is.
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Hey, you don't need my permission to invite Guy. You're going to do it regardless. [No matter how much he jokes that he won't.]
Right. Being married is the point. [And here Barry can't help but soften, smiling at Hal and looping his arms loosely around his neck to pull him in for a kiss, slow and easy. Look, he's happy to be getting married, alright.]
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See? Though I guess the wedding is a little bit the point. For you, apparently. I don't really care what kind of wedding we have. [He settles both his hands on Barry's hips, leaning into the kiss] Because no matter what, I get to have you. And that's all I really want anyway.
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[And then Hal says that, and Barry's grin stretches from ear to ear, as he brings his hands up to cup Hal's face with a sort of tender affection.] Now who's sappy? I feel the same, though. I'm excited to be married to you. And maybe to pick out a flower girl dress for our daughter.
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Mm, shut up. [He leans in for another quick kiss] That's probably gonna be her favorite part, too. Until there's cake. Then that will be her favorite part.
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Barry laughs as he returns that kiss.] Yeah, she'll have a blast. I think it'll be worth it for that, at least. And for some nice photos of us and our family.
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As much as I still think it's gonna be a pain in the ass...yeah. She's gonna have a good time. That'll be nice. [Again, he'd do absolutely anything for Dawn] So, what do we think the chances are that Jay hasn't already called Wally and told him?
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[He thinks everyone else will, at least. Wally will definitely be excited.] Jay wouldn't do that. At least not yet. It's our news to tell. Kind of unfortunately, because I'm not looking forward to making all those phone calls.
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God, don't remind me that I have to call Jack. He’s gonna talk shit. [He loves his brother, honestly. But the man is a dick] Yeah, me either. But we started this fuckery so now we're finishing it. Might as well get it out of the way.
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Alright, I guess let's get to calling. Who next?
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Do you need to ask? Wally. If he finds out we told anyone else before him, he'll explode. [A brief pause] Even if I think it'd be kinda funny to tell Kyle first. That'd really set him off.
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Oh, please don't start another miniature war between Wally and Kyle. You remember how awkward things got at the last barbecue, don't you? [Barry huffs a laugh, but picks up his phone to dial Wally, putting it on speaker.]
Hey, Uncle Barry.
Hi Wally. Hal is here too.
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[He wouldn't have Barry any other way than exactly how he is, honestly. The mention of the last barbecue makes him laugh, hiding his face against Barry's shoulder. They do big family stuff all the time these days. Sometimes Wally and Kyle can get along just fine, sometimes they get into thoroughly stupid fights over nothing that lead to poor Connor having to try to keep the peace] Everyone remembers the last barbecue, Bar. Everyone.
Hey, kid. You want the good news or the bad news first? [There is no bad news. He just has to fuck with Wally a little bit]
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[Even as he nags, he's trying to hold in a laugh, which doesn't change as they call Wally. Though he does roll his eyes at Hal when he asks if Wally wants the good news or bad news.]
Uh... Bad news, first? Is everything okay? Why are you both calling at the same time, anyway?
Hal's just messing with you.
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[He gives Barry a light, playful shove when he refuses to let him mess with Wally. That's rude]
The bad news is that your uncle refuses to let me have any fun ever. [So rude] The good news is that we're getting married.
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[They kind of deserve this after all their insistence that they weren't going to get married.]
No, really. Turns out, it's really hard to get your child adopted by your partner if you aren't legally married. So, we're getting married.
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Joke's on you, kid. We're actually getting married. Surprise.
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You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
We're still deciding that.
Wait, you're actually having a wedding?!
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[Honestly, if Hal weren't involved in this situation he also wouldn't believe it]
And we're actually having a wedding. A small one. Mostly because Alan and Jay will never let it go if we don't.
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Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
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You're both assholes. [He nudges Barry] Don't even think about scolding me for cursing again.
[Wally's right, though. Hal's never going anywhere. Barry's stuck with him for life]
And before you even ask, Wally, we told you before Kyle.
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Oh, good! Hey, I can call and tell him for you, rub it in his face a little that I came first. I'm going to be your best man too, right, Uncle Barry?
Yes, Wally, you are. And don't call Kyle. Let Hal do it! It's our wedding.
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And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
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We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
You know it. Congrats, Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal.
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