No cursing, the baby will hear you. [Barry says with a laugh, even though the baby is still quite occupied with her toys in the living room, in her playpen, and not paying attention. It would be just his luck if she started paying attention the moment Hal said "talk shit" or "fuckery", though.]
The baby isn't even paying attention to us. And anyway, she's got Guy Gardner in her life. Which I know is my fault, before you even say anything. So I wouldn't complain about me cursing every now and then with that in mind, if I were you. [How did Guy ever become a family member? Who let that happen? (Hal. It was Hal)]
Do you need to ask? Wally. If he finds out we told anyone else before him, he'll explode. [A brief pause] Even if I think it'd be kinda funny to tell Kyle first. That'd really set him off.
[Barry's eyebrows slowly raise during that speech, because yes, he was absolutely going to say "And who's fault is that?" in response to the fact that their child has Guy Gardner in her life.] I'll complain about your cursing as much as I want, thanks. [He's teasing more than anything. While Barry doesn't exactly want their daughter to start dropping f-bombs, he's also not angry.]
Oh, please don't start another miniature war between Wally and Kyle. You remember how awkward things got at the last barbecue, don't you? [Barry huffs a laugh, but picks up his phone to dial Wally, putting it on speaker.]
[He wouldn't have Barry any other way than exactly how he is, honestly. The mention of the last barbecue makes him laugh, hiding his face against Barry's shoulder. They do big family stuff all the time these days. Sometimes Wally and Kyle can get along just fine, sometimes they get into thoroughly stupid fights over nothing that lead to poor Connor having to try to keep the peace] Everyone remembers the last barbecue, Bar. Everyone.
Hey, kid. You want the good news or the bad news first? [There is no bad news. He just has to fuck with Wally a little bit]
Yes, unfortunately. So let's avoid that at our wedding.
[Even as he nags, he's trying to hold in a laugh, which doesn't change as they call Wally. Though he does roll his eyes at Hal when he asks if Wally wants the good news or bad news.]
Uh... Bad news, first? Is everything okay? Why are you both calling at the same time, anyway?
[Wally bursts out laughing when Hal says they're getting married, and honestly, no one can blame him.] You guys? Really? C'mon, Uncle Hal, if you're trying to mess with me, you can come up with better than 'we're getting married'.
[They kind of deserve this after all their insistence that they weren't going to get married.]
No, really. Turns out, it's really hard to get your child adopted by your partner if you aren't legally married. So, we're getting married.
[Wally not believing that they're getting married is not surprising. They were always pretty insistent that they weren't going to do that. The universe has a sense of humor]
Joke's on you, kid. We're actually getting married. Surprise.
[The universe loves making them do things they say they'd never do. Like have a child, and now get married. Wally's disbelief is entirely unsurprising.]
You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
[Now that makes Wally laugh, because he knows how Jay gets, even if he doesn't know Alan quite as well.] So you got bullied into having a real wedding, got it. Have fun with that, even a small wedding will be a lot of work.
Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
Stop bullying Kyle. That's my job. [Said as if Hal doesn't baby the absolute hell out of Kyle like they all know that he does. He'll deny it until the day he dies but he absolutely treats Kyle like a baby]
And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
Oh, I remember. Good luck trying to keep it small, though.
We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
[There's a good chance this is gonna spiral out of control and end up being a disaster. That's just how things go. As long as Wally keeps from getting overly excited and running his mouth, it shouldn't be too bad. To be fair, though, there's also Ollie to consider. He's also a big blabbermouth risk. Hal can only roll his eyes when Wally asks if he can tell Linda because, yes, Wally, of course you can tell your wife. Who's Linda gonna tell?]
[Barry really would prefer not to let it get out of hand. He's excited for their small wedding, for marrying his best friend, so he won't let it turn into a whole ordeal like Ollie's and Dinah's wedding.
They hang up with Wally, and Barry hands Hal the phone, kissing his cheek.]
I have some news, like this isn't about both of us.
[The way Wally and Kyle interact doesn't make sense to Hal, either. Not any more than the way Kyle and Ollie talk to each other makes sense. But at this point, he's given up questioning any of it]
We're getting married.
[This time, there's only a very brief pause before Kyle responds. Kyle didn't know Hal when he was younger, has only ever seen him with Barry, so he isn't quite as surprised as the other people they've called so far]
Married? But I thought you guys didn't want that?
Yeah, well, turns out that it's hard to adopt someone else's kid if you're not. There's less hoops to jump through if you marry the kid's biological parent first. So.
It's our news, but you get to tell your side of the family. [Barry teases, squeezing his hand. He's having a bit of fun with this actually, getting to tell people they care about that they're actually getting married.]
Ha, his first proposal was lackluster, but he got it right the second time. [Will he ever not give Kyle some ammunition to make fun of Hal with? No. Kyle is baby, and he deserves this.]
I bet it was. Hal Jordan and genuine emotion don't really go together, in my experience. [Honestly, one perk of being the baby is that he can make fun of Hal and get away with it. So Kyle appreciates the ammunition whenever it is given]
Don't be a dick, Kyle. It's not a good look for you. And you. [He gives Barry the lightest of shoves] I can still take that proposal back.
Everyone here knows you're not taking that proposal back, Hal. Empty threat. [Everyone who knows Hal knows how ridiculously in love he is with Barry. Now that marriage has been put on the table, it's happening]
Whose side are you on here?
There are sides? Then Barry's. Definitely.
You're a shitty little brother. Zero loyalty.
[Kyle laughs again, clearly having fun with this. Hal isn't even actually annoyed by the teasing because he knows that Kyle's just happy for them]
You'd be surprised, actually. Hal can be very genuine. [This comes out more warm and fond than teasing, and will probably just make Kyle laugh, but Barry is still riding that 'we're getting married' high, so he thinks he can be forgiven.
Their bickering makes him laugh, and he leans his forehead against Hal's shoulder, smiling.]
Thanks, Kyle. I think you're a great little brother, by the way. Don't listen to Hal.
Thank you! I happen to think I'm a great little brother, too. And I'm pretty used to not listening to Hal. By the way, did you call Alan yet, Hal?
Yeah, he was the second one we called. He's also half of the reason we're having an actual wedding and not just getting this over with at city hall. He and Jay guilted us into it.
[Kyle laughs again. His next question was about to be about a wedding so two birds with one stone]
Not surprised. On the bright side? You know Alan is gonna offer wedding money. So there's that.
[Alan also put away a substantial amount of money in an account for them when Dawn came into their lives. He has the money and he's never been shy about using it to help the people he cares about. So there is that]
Speaking of the wedding, don't tell anyone. We're trying to keep it small, okay? Not invite half the League.
Good luck with that. I won't tell anyone, though, don't worry. [A beat] Except Connor. I'm telling Connor. I'm really bad at keeping secrets from him.
Hopefully he doesn't offer too much. We're tentatively planning on just a backyard wedding and a potluck reception, something easy and kid-friendly. [They don't need to go to all the trouble of finding a venue and picking colors and flowers and all that mess. The most they'll probably spend is on food, because feeding Barry's family isn't cheap.
But he laughs when Kyle says he's telling Connor, the way Hal rolled his eyes at Wally saying he'd tell Linda.]
Connor is invited too. That's fine. We just don't want to make it a whole massive... thing. Like we'll probably only invite Clark and Diana from the League.
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Alright, I guess let's get to calling. Who next?
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Do you need to ask? Wally. If he finds out we told anyone else before him, he'll explode. [A brief pause] Even if I think it'd be kinda funny to tell Kyle first. That'd really set him off.
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Oh, please don't start another miniature war between Wally and Kyle. You remember how awkward things got at the last barbecue, don't you? [Barry huffs a laugh, but picks up his phone to dial Wally, putting it on speaker.]
Hey, Uncle Barry.
Hi Wally. Hal is here too.
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[He wouldn't have Barry any other way than exactly how he is, honestly. The mention of the last barbecue makes him laugh, hiding his face against Barry's shoulder. They do big family stuff all the time these days. Sometimes Wally and Kyle can get along just fine, sometimes they get into thoroughly stupid fights over nothing that lead to poor Connor having to try to keep the peace] Everyone remembers the last barbecue, Bar. Everyone.
Hey, kid. You want the good news or the bad news first? [There is no bad news. He just has to fuck with Wally a little bit]
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[Even as he nags, he's trying to hold in a laugh, which doesn't change as they call Wally. Though he does roll his eyes at Hal when he asks if Wally wants the good news or bad news.]
Uh... Bad news, first? Is everything okay? Why are you both calling at the same time, anyway?
Hal's just messing with you.
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[He gives Barry a light, playful shove when he refuses to let him mess with Wally. That's rude]
The bad news is that your uncle refuses to let me have any fun ever. [So rude] The good news is that we're getting married.
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[They kind of deserve this after all their insistence that they weren't going to get married.]
No, really. Turns out, it's really hard to get your child adopted by your partner if you aren't legally married. So, we're getting married.
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Joke's on you, kid. We're actually getting married. Surprise.
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You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
We're still deciding that.
Wait, you're actually having a wedding?!
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[Honestly, if Hal weren't involved in this situation he also wouldn't believe it]
And we're actually having a wedding. A small one. Mostly because Alan and Jay will never let it go if we don't.
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Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
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You're both assholes. [He nudges Barry] Don't even think about scolding me for cursing again.
[Wally's right, though. Hal's never going anywhere. Barry's stuck with him for life]
And before you even ask, Wally, we told you before Kyle.
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Oh, good! Hey, I can call and tell him for you, rub it in his face a little that I came first. I'm going to be your best man too, right, Uncle Barry?
Yes, Wally, you are. And don't call Kyle. Let Hal do it! It's our wedding.
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And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
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We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
You know it. Congrats, Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal.
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[There's a good chance this is gonna spiral out of control and end up being a disaster. That's just how things go. As long as Wally keeps from getting overly excited and running his mouth, it shouldn't be too bad. To be fair, though, there's also Ollie to consider. He's also a big blabbermouth risk. Hal can only roll his eyes when Wally asks if he can tell Linda because, yes, Wally, of course you can tell your wife. Who's Linda gonna tell?]
Thanks, Wally. Talk to you later.
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They hang up with Wally, and Barry hands Hal the phone, kissing his cheek.]
Go ahead and call Kyle next.
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He should be on planet. Hopefully.
[He takes the phone and calls Kyle, putting it on speaker. It takes a few more rings than the other calls had but Kyle eventually does pick up]
Hi, Hal.
Hey. Barry's here, too. You're on speaker.
Oh, you're both calling? Hi, Barry. Whatever Wally says I did, he's lying.
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Ha. I'll keep that in mind. Hi, Kyle. [Their rivalry will never make sense to Barry, but he just goes with it.]
Hal had some news he wanted to share.
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[The way Wally and Kyle interact doesn't make sense to Hal, either. Not any more than the way Kyle and Ollie talk to each other makes sense. But at this point, he's given up questioning any of it]
We're getting married.
[This time, there's only a very brief pause before Kyle responds. Kyle didn't know Hal when he was younger, has only ever seen him with Barry, so he isn't quite as surprised as the other people they've called so far]
Married? But I thought you guys didn't want that?
Yeah, well, turns out that it's hard to adopt someone else's kid if you're not. There's less hoops to jump through if you marry the kid's biological parent first. So.
[On the other end of the line, Kyle laughs]
Wow, Hal, that's so romantic.
Shut up, Kyle.
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Ha, his first proposal was lackluster, but he got it right the second time. [Will he ever not give Kyle some ammunition to make fun of Hal with? No. Kyle is baby, and he deserves this.]
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Don't be a dick, Kyle. It's not a good look for you. And you. [He gives Barry the lightest of shoves] I can still take that proposal back.
Everyone here knows you're not taking that proposal back, Hal. Empty threat. [Everyone who knows Hal knows how ridiculously in love he is with Barry. Now that marriage has been put on the table, it's happening]
Whose side are you on here?
There are sides? Then Barry's. Definitely.
You're a shitty little brother. Zero loyalty.
[Kyle laughs again, clearly having fun with this. Hal isn't even actually annoyed by the teasing because he knows that Kyle's just happy for them]
Seriously, though, congrats guys. Happy for you.
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Their bickering makes him laugh, and he leans his forehead against Hal's shoulder, smiling.]
Thanks, Kyle. I think you're a great little brother, by the way. Don't listen to Hal.
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Yeah, he was the second one we called. He's also half of the reason we're having an actual wedding and not just getting this over with at city hall. He and Jay guilted us into it.
[Kyle laughs again. His next question was about to be about a wedding so two birds with one stone]
Not surprised. On the bright side? You know Alan is gonna offer wedding money. So there's that.
[Alan also put away a substantial amount of money in an account for them when Dawn came into their lives. He has the money and he's never been shy about using it to help the people he cares about. So there is that]
Speaking of the wedding, don't tell anyone. We're trying to keep it small, okay? Not invite half the League.
Good luck with that. I won't tell anyone, though, don't worry. [A beat] Except Connor. I'm telling Connor. I'm really bad at keeping secrets from him.
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But he laughs when Kyle says he's telling Connor, the way Hal rolled his eyes at Wally saying he'd tell Linda.]
Connor is invited too. That's fine. We just don't want to make it a whole massive... thing. Like we'll probably only invite Clark and Diana from the League.
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