[The universe loves making them do things they say they'd never do. Like have a child, and now get married. Wally's disbelief is entirely unsurprising.]
You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
[Now that makes Wally laugh, because he knows how Jay gets, even if he doesn't know Alan quite as well.] So you got bullied into having a real wedding, got it. Have fun with that, even a small wedding will be a lot of work.
Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
Stop bullying Kyle. That's my job. [Said as if Hal doesn't baby the absolute hell out of Kyle like they all know that he does. He'll deny it until the day he dies but he absolutely treats Kyle like a baby]
And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
Oh, I remember. Good luck trying to keep it small, though.
We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
[There's a good chance this is gonna spiral out of control and end up being a disaster. That's just how things go. As long as Wally keeps from getting overly excited and running his mouth, it shouldn't be too bad. To be fair, though, there's also Ollie to consider. He's also a big blabbermouth risk. Hal can only roll his eyes when Wally asks if he can tell Linda because, yes, Wally, of course you can tell your wife. Who's Linda gonna tell?]
[Barry really would prefer not to let it get out of hand. He's excited for their small wedding, for marrying his best friend, so he won't let it turn into a whole ordeal like Ollie's and Dinah's wedding.
They hang up with Wally, and Barry hands Hal the phone, kissing his cheek.]
I have some news, like this isn't about both of us.
[The way Wally and Kyle interact doesn't make sense to Hal, either. Not any more than the way Kyle and Ollie talk to each other makes sense. But at this point, he's given up questioning any of it]
We're getting married.
[This time, there's only a very brief pause before Kyle responds. Kyle didn't know Hal when he was younger, has only ever seen him with Barry, so he isn't quite as surprised as the other people they've called so far]
Married? But I thought you guys didn't want that?
Yeah, well, turns out that it's hard to adopt someone else's kid if you're not. There's less hoops to jump through if you marry the kid's biological parent first. So.
It's our news, but you get to tell your side of the family. [Barry teases, squeezing his hand. He's having a bit of fun with this actually, getting to tell people they care about that they're actually getting married.]
Ha, his first proposal was lackluster, but he got it right the second time. [Will he ever not give Kyle some ammunition to make fun of Hal with? No. Kyle is baby, and he deserves this.]
I bet it was. Hal Jordan and genuine emotion don't really go together, in my experience. [Honestly, one perk of being the baby is that he can make fun of Hal and get away with it. So Kyle appreciates the ammunition whenever it is given]
Don't be a dick, Kyle. It's not a good look for you. And you. [He gives Barry the lightest of shoves] I can still take that proposal back.
Everyone here knows you're not taking that proposal back, Hal. Empty threat. [Everyone who knows Hal knows how ridiculously in love he is with Barry. Now that marriage has been put on the table, it's happening]
Whose side are you on here?
There are sides? Then Barry's. Definitely.
You're a shitty little brother. Zero loyalty.
[Kyle laughs again, clearly having fun with this. Hal isn't even actually annoyed by the teasing because he knows that Kyle's just happy for them]
You'd be surprised, actually. Hal can be very genuine. [This comes out more warm and fond than teasing, and will probably just make Kyle laugh, but Barry is still riding that 'we're getting married' high, so he thinks he can be forgiven.
Their bickering makes him laugh, and he leans his forehead against Hal's shoulder, smiling.]
Thanks, Kyle. I think you're a great little brother, by the way. Don't listen to Hal.
Thank you! I happen to think I'm a great little brother, too. And I'm pretty used to not listening to Hal. By the way, did you call Alan yet, Hal?
Yeah, he was the second one we called. He's also half of the reason we're having an actual wedding and not just getting this over with at city hall. He and Jay guilted us into it.
[Kyle laughs again. His next question was about to be about a wedding so two birds with one stone]
Not surprised. On the bright side? You know Alan is gonna offer wedding money. So there's that.
[Alan also put away a substantial amount of money in an account for them when Dawn came into their lives. He has the money and he's never been shy about using it to help the people he cares about. So there is that]
Speaking of the wedding, don't tell anyone. We're trying to keep it small, okay? Not invite half the League.
Good luck with that. I won't tell anyone, though, don't worry. [A beat] Except Connor. I'm telling Connor. I'm really bad at keeping secrets from him.
Hopefully he doesn't offer too much. We're tentatively planning on just a backyard wedding and a potluck reception, something easy and kid-friendly. [They don't need to go to all the trouble of finding a venue and picking colors and flowers and all that mess. The most they'll probably spend is on food, because feeding Barry's family isn't cheap.
But he laughs when Kyle says he's telling Connor, the way Hal rolled his eyes at Wally saying he'd tell Linda.]
Connor is invited too. That's fine. We just don't want to make it a whole massive... thing. Like we'll probably only invite Clark and Diana from the League.
I wish you guys so much luck keeping it small. You're gonna need it.
[Things tend to spiral out of control in this community. See: Ollie and Dinah's wedding. But that one was really on them for inviting so many people in the first place. And also for making it a superhero affair and not a civilian one. Kyle also doesn't question the absence of Bruce. Of course Bruce isn't invited. He and Hal haven't had the best relationship since Hal came back]
We'll be fine. [Maybe] You just focus on not being a dick to Wally at the wedding.
Hey! He starts it! Besides, it's fine. Connor's gonna be there and he won't let me be a dick. And neither will Alan, actually. I'll be good.
Best I'm getting, I guess. Do me a favor, also? Tell Guy and John for me. I don't feel like contacting them on Oa right now.
What am I, your messenger boy?
Yes. Do it.
Fine. Fine. I will. This is why I'm on Barry's side, though.
Ha, thank you Kyle. [He really does like the youngest Earth Lantern. Kyle is good for Hal, and Connor is a good egg. It'll be nice to have them and everyone else they're closest to at their wedding, even if it gets a little out of hand.
After they've said their goodbyes to Kyle and hung up, Barry laughs, leaning against Hal's shoulder.]
Let's just get invitations sent out to tell everyone else.
[Hal can only laugh too, a little helplessly. This is already turning into such an ordeal. Why did he decide to do this? Oh right, he's hopelessly in love with Barry. Makes sense]
Can we please? I'm starting to hate everyone we know.
[It'll all be worth it, Barry thinks. They'll be married, which is definitely not a thought he hates, and Hal will finally be able to legally adopt Dawn. Still it seems ridiculous that he'd need to, but that's just the way the legal system works. It will still give Barry some peace of mind.]
No you're not. [He laughs, kissing Hal's cheek.] How about a date three months from now? It'll give us some time to plan, but not so much that anyone can expect a big affair.
[It will be worth it. Hal's trying to remind himself of that and also that this was his idea. Can't really be upset about his own idea, right?]
You don't know that. [He doesn't. Hal is the type of person who can't stop caring once he starts caring about someone. That's probably why he and Ollie are still friends, for example] Yeah, okay. That'll work. We should probably decide who all we're inviting, while we're at it.
That won't be too hard. Make a list of the people you want there, I'll make a list of who I want there, and then we'll have it. I mean, 80% of those lists are going to overlap, so that's easy. [They can at least count on each other to not put Bruce on their list. Barry expects 0 arguing about the guest list thing.]
[They know all the same people, basically. And neither one of them really talks to anyone that the other doesn't like. ...Except Guy]
Oh yeah? Well, in that case... [Hal wraps both his arms around Barry's waist and tugs him close to kiss him. He's happy about all this, too. Even if he's still slightly dreading the massive pain in the ass planning a wedding is probably going to be]
[It's convenient when your social circles are more of a circle than a venn diagram. Guy and Ollie are maybe the only ones Barry groans at having to interact with, but he wouldn't deny Hal having them at their wedding, so there won't be any trouble there.
He's about to say something else, but forgets what quickly when Hal tugs him in for a kiss. Barry returns it around the shape of his own smile, bringing a hand up to thread through Hal's hair.
When they finally part, Barry grins, tipping their foreheads together and saying lowly, teasingly,] Fiance.
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You're serious? You're tying the knot? Never thought I'd see the day! [Wally sounds surprised, sure, but at least he doesn't sound unhappy for them.] So when's the wedding?
We're still deciding that.
Wait, you're actually having a wedding?!
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[Honestly, if Hal weren't involved in this situation he also wouldn't believe it]
And we're actually having a wedding. A small one. Mostly because Alan and Jay will never let it go if we don't.
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Please don't tell Hal that. You're going to scare him off the whole thing. [Barry says with a grin directed at Hal - he's just joking.]
Somehow, I don't think you could get rid of Uncle Hal even if you tried.
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You're both assholes. [He nudges Barry] Don't even think about scolding me for cursing again.
[Wally's right, though. Hal's never going anywhere. Barry's stuck with him for life]
And before you even ask, Wally, we told you before Kyle.
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Oh, good! Hey, I can call and tell him for you, rub it in his face a little that I came first. I'm going to be your best man too, right, Uncle Barry?
Yes, Wally, you are. And don't call Kyle. Let Hal do it! It's our wedding.
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And while we're at it, don't tell anybody else. We're aiming for small, here. We're not inviting half the League. You remember how Ollie and Dinah's wedding turned out, don't you?
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We have to keep it small enough to contain it in the back yard, Wally, so please, just keep it quiet for now?
[Wally laughs a little, and agrees,] Sure, sure. I won't tell anyone. Wait, can I tell Linda?
Yes, you can tell Linda. [It'd be near impossible for Wally to keep that secret from his wife, Barry gets it. He can't keep secrets from Hal either.] Hey, we still have a bunch of calls to make. See you at dinner on Sunday?
You know it. Congrats, Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal.
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[There's a good chance this is gonna spiral out of control and end up being a disaster. That's just how things go. As long as Wally keeps from getting overly excited and running his mouth, it shouldn't be too bad. To be fair, though, there's also Ollie to consider. He's also a big blabbermouth risk. Hal can only roll his eyes when Wally asks if he can tell Linda because, yes, Wally, of course you can tell your wife. Who's Linda gonna tell?]
Thanks, Wally. Talk to you later.
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They hang up with Wally, and Barry hands Hal the phone, kissing his cheek.]
Go ahead and call Kyle next.
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He should be on planet. Hopefully.
[He takes the phone and calls Kyle, putting it on speaker. It takes a few more rings than the other calls had but Kyle eventually does pick up]
Hi, Hal.
Hey. Barry's here, too. You're on speaker.
Oh, you're both calling? Hi, Barry. Whatever Wally says I did, he's lying.
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Ha. I'll keep that in mind. Hi, Kyle. [Their rivalry will never make sense to Barry, but he just goes with it.]
Hal had some news he wanted to share.
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[The way Wally and Kyle interact doesn't make sense to Hal, either. Not any more than the way Kyle and Ollie talk to each other makes sense. But at this point, he's given up questioning any of it]
We're getting married.
[This time, there's only a very brief pause before Kyle responds. Kyle didn't know Hal when he was younger, has only ever seen him with Barry, so he isn't quite as surprised as the other people they've called so far]
Married? But I thought you guys didn't want that?
Yeah, well, turns out that it's hard to adopt someone else's kid if you're not. There's less hoops to jump through if you marry the kid's biological parent first. So.
[On the other end of the line, Kyle laughs]
Wow, Hal, that's so romantic.
Shut up, Kyle.
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Ha, his first proposal was lackluster, but he got it right the second time. [Will he ever not give Kyle some ammunition to make fun of Hal with? No. Kyle is baby, and he deserves this.]
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Don't be a dick, Kyle. It's not a good look for you. And you. [He gives Barry the lightest of shoves] I can still take that proposal back.
Everyone here knows you're not taking that proposal back, Hal. Empty threat. [Everyone who knows Hal knows how ridiculously in love he is with Barry. Now that marriage has been put on the table, it's happening]
Whose side are you on here?
There are sides? Then Barry's. Definitely.
You're a shitty little brother. Zero loyalty.
[Kyle laughs again, clearly having fun with this. Hal isn't even actually annoyed by the teasing because he knows that Kyle's just happy for them]
Seriously, though, congrats guys. Happy for you.
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Their bickering makes him laugh, and he leans his forehead against Hal's shoulder, smiling.]
Thanks, Kyle. I think you're a great little brother, by the way. Don't listen to Hal.
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Yeah, he was the second one we called. He's also half of the reason we're having an actual wedding and not just getting this over with at city hall. He and Jay guilted us into it.
[Kyle laughs again. His next question was about to be about a wedding so two birds with one stone]
Not surprised. On the bright side? You know Alan is gonna offer wedding money. So there's that.
[Alan also put away a substantial amount of money in an account for them when Dawn came into their lives. He has the money and he's never been shy about using it to help the people he cares about. So there is that]
Speaking of the wedding, don't tell anyone. We're trying to keep it small, okay? Not invite half the League.
Good luck with that. I won't tell anyone, though, don't worry. [A beat] Except Connor. I'm telling Connor. I'm really bad at keeping secrets from him.
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But he laughs when Kyle says he's telling Connor, the way Hal rolled his eyes at Wally saying he'd tell Linda.]
Connor is invited too. That's fine. We just don't want to make it a whole massive... thing. Like we'll probably only invite Clark and Diana from the League.
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[Things tend to spiral out of control in this community. See: Ollie and Dinah's wedding. But that one was really on them for inviting so many people in the first place. And also for making it a superhero affair and not a civilian one. Kyle also doesn't question the absence of Bruce. Of course Bruce isn't invited. He and Hal haven't had the best relationship since Hal came back]
We'll be fine. [Maybe] You just focus on not being a dick to Wally at the wedding.
Hey! He starts it! Besides, it's fine. Connor's gonna be there and he won't let me be a dick. And neither will Alan, actually. I'll be good.
Best I'm getting, I guess. Do me a favor, also? Tell Guy and John for me. I don't feel like contacting them on Oa right now.
What am I, your messenger boy?
Yes. Do it.
Fine. Fine. I will. This is why I'm on Barry's side, though.
Shut up, Kyle.
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After they've said their goodbyes to Kyle and hung up, Barry laughs, leaning against Hal's shoulder.]
Let's just get invitations sent out to tell everyone else.
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Can we please? I'm starting to hate everyone we know.
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No you're not. [He laughs, kissing Hal's cheek.] How about a date three months from now? It'll give us some time to plan, but not so much that anyone can expect a big affair.
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You don't know that. [He doesn't. Hal is the type of person who can't stop caring once he starts caring about someone. That's probably why he and Ollie are still friends, for example] Yeah, okay. That'll work. We should probably decide who all we're inviting, while we're at it.
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And we don't have to do all this today.
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[They know all the same people, basically. And neither one of them really talks to anyone that the other doesn't like. ...Except Guy]
Oh yeah? Well, in that case... [Hal wraps both his arms around Barry's waist and tugs him close to kiss him. He's happy about all this, too. Even if he's still slightly dreading the massive pain in the ass planning a wedding is probably going to be]
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He's about to say something else, but forgets what quickly when Hal tugs him in for a kiss. Barry returns it around the shape of his own smile, bringing a hand up to thread through Hal's hair.
When they finally part, Barry grins, tipping their foreheads together and saying lowly, teasingly,] Fiance.
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